problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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