I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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