I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
