im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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