She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
