3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
