there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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