All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
