The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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