I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
