I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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