Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
