I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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