god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
