Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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