Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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