i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
