Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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