I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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