You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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