its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
