just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
