drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
did you just send me my own nude
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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