The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
