all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
