ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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