Can Purell be used as lube?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
