i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
