I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
last night I used snow as a chaser
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