420 ftw
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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