We won't sleep together?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize