How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
