its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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