Whod you bang
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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