covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
