Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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