Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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