we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
