i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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