I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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