I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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