and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My vagina just clenched in fear
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
