Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
