walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
