I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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