We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
