I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
