I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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