Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
