last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
