my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
