Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i love accidental penises.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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