He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
