If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
