ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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