well you can't waste a boner
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
