If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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