is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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