she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
